I’m only too aware that the internet is rammed with bloggers of all kinds, and in all honesty, I’m painfully lost as to what blogging really is?
I get the sense there’s no script, no structure, more a stream of consciousness that others may want to read or even skim through, but then again I’ve probably got it all wrong, or maybe I’m just overthinking it.
Either way, this goes down as another entry into what is I suppose, suitably described as my personal blog page, and so with that out of the way, here are the thoughts that threaten to consume me today.
Right now, I feel more lost and more confused than perhaps at any other time in my life.
I graduated with a law degree in 2016, during which I discovered what I still feel is a passion for the subject in all its incarnations, and yet I am now writing, or attempting to write, my first work of fiction, which to some people may not seem like that big of a deal, however to a man who has read nary a handful of fiction novels in my 48 years of existence, it’s akin to swimming the local pool for three minutes before attempting to cross the channel, even worse, the Atlantic ocean.
To date, I have spent hours if not days now, browsing writer help sites, author forums, navigating the countless pitfalls of seeking out and appointing literary agents, and watching as established writers dissect or ‘critique’ emerging writers, while charging for the privilege, and its all left me somewhat cynical about the whole thing.
When I say cynical, I don’t mean apathetic, or even ignorant to the stark reality of this world, but I would be lying if I didn’t feel a twitch of resignation and an urge to just give up now, before I suffer even more rejection, judgment, misguided feedback, or even mockery by those who have at last carved out a safe and perhaps established writing career, or those who have widely read but never taken the risk to write anything original.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m trying very hard to let go of my doubts and fears, while I’m also trying even harder to remember that if writing is something I have grown to love, then who hell cares what a percentage of the populous think? After all, If you enjoy doing something then you should just keep on truckin’, right?
Pump your fist if you agree.